Why do we drive through weather that has promoted cannabalism?

I've been skiing for about 35 years now. Yeah, I know. Impossible for someone who's only 30. Anyways, it never ceases to amaze me that anyone does this sport. This sport is not an easy muse.

By its very nature, it requires inclement weather just to build the playing field. It's not like most sports, such as football, basketball, or baseball-- whose arenas are there year-round. Although, for the record, I think the ski season is longer than the NFL season, so we've got that going for us. So, just to be able to "do" our sport, we've gotta wait for, even pray for, bad, bad weather. When the rest of you are whining and complaining about how the rain made your commute hellish, and your gutters clogged, and ruined your $49.95 Ducky's detail, us skiers are cackling with joy, impervious to your pain, 'cause we know what rain really means. Game on.

Of course, that means that us skiers can't drive around in Ferraris and Maseratis. No. We have to have an SUV. And not the poser, "I look like a big, tough SUV, but I'm really just a wimpy 2-WD without the sports package that includes enhanced traction control, mud and snow tires, and (of course) heated seats." No. The real thing. The mother of all differentials, the Taj Majal of transmissions. Which means our car insurance is more expensive. But we're happy to pay it. Just look at the pic above. You wanna try and pass through that in a Prius? Ha!

And, skiers must live with the inherent and often painful conflict of, at once, loving nature and harming it in order to get to it. So don't you non skiers give us that "look" when we pass you in our sexy, agile, gas-guzzling SUVs. Don't! We know what we're doing. And don't act like you're "greener than thou" just because you shop at Whole Foods, shun pasteurization, spout off about the virtues of hemp, incessantly quote Osho, and refuse to drink anything that's not in your Nalgene bottle. Back off. Go climb Mt. Tam.

Then there's the gear. New skis, boots, and bindings: $2,000. Gortex jacket and pants: $1,100. Carbon-fiber helmet and UVA, UVB, UVC rated Iridium lensed goggles, $500. Thinking that all makes perfect sense: Priceless.

So, then there's the parking issue. Take the shuttle? Pffft. Whatever. Anyways, unless you're willing to get to the hill when the cat drivers get off work, you're gonna have to park far away. Skiers are like piano movers. That the load is awkward and heavy is a given. The only issue ever is, how do we get it from here to there. But we do. We lug our crap a quarter mile across the lot, usually on an upslope, up flights of stairs, down flights of stairs, up and over the pile of snow that is always just beyond the ticket window, and finally to the chair. And still, we do it day after day, season after seaon, year after year. If you snowboard (I do both) you have slightly less crap to carry, but you have to worry about your baggy pants falling down as you cross the parking lot, and the image you have to uphold is far more taxing. ;-)

Then there's the perils of the activity itself. Falling sucks. Getting up sucks even more. Granted, I don't fall very often-- not because I don't push myself. I'm just that good-- But I've started to shy away from those runs where the odds are: You fall, you die. Just not willing to go there any more. This past year, btw, I did finally experience my first triple black diamond run. At Squaw. There were bears on the run. Yeah. Live bears. Not the beanie baby kind. I have never heard of a basketball player encountering a bear on the field. Yeah. Skiers know they are playing in the forest. And if we ever forget for a moment, the bears will bring us back to reality. And while the rest of the world has finally moved away from high-impact aerobics because of the propensity for injury, skiers still bareback down mogul runs at breakneck speed. BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BOOF BAM BAM BOOF BOOF BAM. What's the crunching sound I hear? Oh! That's my cartilage being ejected from my knee joints! Cool!

I could also do a bit about the price of food on the mountain. But in all honesty, it pales in comparison to shopping at Whole Foods and Draegers, so I've removed it from my list of hardships.

So yeah. I am constantly amazed that anyone does this sport. And yet, I totally get why people do. The reasons are manifold, and defy description. But if you ski, you get it.